Hot Nerd by Flora Ferrari

Author:Flora Ferrari [Ferrari, Flora]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-01-16T18:30:00+00:00

Despina

I wanted to call his name as he left my apartment. I wanted to run to him and throw myself into his arms and beg him to never leave me. But I kept my cool. I kept my pride. At the cost of walking away, I retained some dignity.

I love him. I can feel it in my heart. It doesn’t matter that I’ve only known him a few days. I’ve never been so sure of anything, and I know this strange new feeling must be love. It’s the only emotion I’ve ever felt as strongly as this, and it’s hit me like a brick to the face. I want him so badly, and now I’ve turned him away.

He could have anyone, and he chose to give me a chance. He chose to explore my body, to show me the type of caring that I’ve never had from anyone before. And now I’ll never know what it’s like to hold him close to me in the morning. I’ll never get to see him naked and feel him inside me as we make love. I’ll never get to know what could’ve been. And that thought alone is killing me.

I’m so fucking angry now. Angry at Liam for putting doubt in my mind. Angry at myself for making a bad decision. Furious at my mentality that work must come first. Because now that he’s left me here alone, I’ve come to realize that perhaps having someone love me is more important.

And the thing is, I can have both. He told me I could have both. He knows this chemistry between us isn’t going anywhere. He knows we could take this thing all the way. He knows that if we stick at it, our relationship at work and at home can be two separate things entirely. It’s clear to me already, having read the edits he sent me this afternoon, that we’re perfect for one another. He just gets me. No one else has seen me so clearly as he has before. Is it too late to change my mind? Or have I already messed up the best thing to ever happen to me?

I scramble for my phone. I have to call him and get him to turn around. But when I look at the time, it’s nearing midnight. I know it’s far too late to call him. I should wait until tomorrow and send him a text when my head is in a better state of mind. But I want him now. I need him now.

I can feel heat pooling between my legs. I’m wet just at the thought of him. I’m frozen in place, thinking about his strong arms wrapping around me. I picture him fucking me on the couch, our hot bodies pressed close together. I want his hands in my hair, on my face, between my legs pleasuring me. I think for a second it’s the wine talking, but I realize I’ve barely even sipped it. I sink onto the couch, my phone still in my hand as I fight off the dizziness I’m feeling.

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